Hero Dad

Whenever Vernon is out with Kai, he gets the most adoring looks and comments from strangers:
"I just love dads!" exclaimed one woman to her friend.
"I really respect what you are doing" another woman in her car, pulled over to tell him.
"I enjoy it" he might respond with a smile, internally feeling a little sad that people seem to find it so remarkable.  Oftentimes, he is not doing anything out of the ordinary; talking a walk, running an errand, etc.  But social expectations of fathers seems to be so low that even engaging in ordinary activities with our one year old makes him a Hero to witnessing women.  At least this is the conclusion that he seems to have drawn and the one we joke about (along with the acknowledgement that I never get such praise for caring for Kai).

In light of Father's Day tomorrow, I have been thinking a bit deeper about what may be going on here beyond a problematic societal anecdote of parenthood, sexism, etc. because even at home, there are times that I am in awe of how Vernon engages with Kai, makes him laugh, meets him creatively, and patiently and lovingly supports his growth. Those of you who know us know that he is a Waldorf teacher, and perhaps that speaks to some of his traits, but what are those qualities that gain so much attention when he is out?  I believe that what really makes Vernon a "Hero Dad" is that he is not afraid to deeply engage with his son and love him courageously.  He has always known he wants to be a father and he appreciates it everyday, AND he appreciates me through and through, knowing that I am the one lovingly and patiently spending the days with Kai while he is gone.  Fathers who do not spend time with their children can not possibly appreciate how challenging it can be at times.  Vernon and I have been sleep deprived (to varying degrees) since I was in the last trimester of my pregnancy with Kai, so over a year now.  We have also never been so happy in our lives as we are now.  Neither one of us could fathom the sort of joy we experience on a daily basis now, prior to having Kai.  When Mother's Day came around last month, I told Vernon, "The best thing about Mother's Day is being a mother."  I imagine Vernon feels the same way about Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day Vernon!

Quick Update on Me

So it's been a year since my last post.  Time really does fly!

My office has moved, and I am now seeing clients at two locations:  the People House in Denver (roughly 25th and Federal) as well as at 1735 York Street near City Park in an old Victorian converted into therapy offices.  I love it!  Hopefully I can accommodate more clients at these two locations.  Let me know which one works better for you.

In the last year, I also had a baby and took some time off for maternity leave.  I am now seeing clients part time.  Here's my favorite picture of me with my babe when he was just three weeks old.

Hope you and yours are well,
Linda

Destigmatizing Mental Health Struggles

It is hard to talk about mental health without addressing the social stigma that accompanies any discussion. In working in the mental health field, it is essential to drop any stigmas in order to address the issues that any individual may be struggling with, but how do we deal with the stigma that pervades society at large?

For people struggling with a mental health concern, it becomes an additional challenge to deconstruct or resist the detrimental labeling that society and individuals in society associate with their struggles. That is to say, not only do people have their personal and often times interpersonal struggle related to mental health (or illness), but they also have to process the oppression that comes with mental health stigmas. However a person responds to this stigma varies individually, but the challenge of being seen as "mentally ill" or "abnormal" can be more damaging to one's mental wellness than their actual mental health concern.

So, how do we address the stigma? Speaking out has been along time approach, that I continue to advocate (of course picking and choosing one's battles and being intentional about taking care of oneself in this process). Then, there's the idea of deconstructing the myth or normality. This addresses the root causes in society which contribute to mental health stigmatization. A quotation by Joe Ancis that I often think of is, "the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." I have found this to be true time and time again. So many people struggle privately, believing that their emotional distress is unique to them and that something is truly wrong with them. As a society, we do not know what to do with "negative" emotions and so when one experiences them, one feels ashamed rather than acknowledging the reality of the human condition and our incredible ability to feel.

Addressing mental health stigmas is an ongoing conversation, and I don't have simple answers. I hope this helps create dialogue and I welcome feedback. I can be reached at info @ lindahsieh.com if you want to contact me privately. Otherwise feel free to respond on this blog.

Be well,

Linda

Crisis Resources

Crisis Resources within Denver, Colorado

Psychiatric

24-hour Psychiatric Emergency Services Mobile Crisis through Denver Health, call (303) 602-7221.

General Multi-Issue

(Suicide, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, bias-motivated violence, etc.)

For 24-hour crisis help over the phone, I highly recommend the Colorado Anti-Violence Program (CAVP) 24-hour hotline: (303) 852-5094 or (toll free) 1(888) 557-4441. CAVP's mission is to end violence against and within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer communities. Training for CAVP's victim advocates is multi-issue and incorporates an anti-oppression framework. They strive to continually provide culturally competent support. When calling, leave a message and a victim's advocate will return your call within 20 minutes.

Sexual Assault

The Rape Assistance and Awareness Program

24-hour English-speaking hotline (303) 322-7273

Spanish-speaking hotline (303) 329-0031

TTY hotline (303) 329-0023 (Staffed 9-5 pm)

National Hotlines

Suicide Prevention 1(800) 273-TALK (8255)

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Domestic Violence Hotline 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or 1(800) 787-3224 (TTY)

Affordable Counseling Centers in Denver

I frequently hear from people that they do not know what resources are out there for affordable or sliding scale counseling. Below is a list of counseling options with the starting rates, if known. In many of these places, the counseling interns are students in graduate counseling programs and may only be available during their school year or for one calendar year. This is to say, you may not be able to work with these therapists longer than 1 year.

Good luck! And don't be afraid to shop around to find the best therapist to work with you.

*Linda

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MDS (formerly Maria Droste Services)

1355 S. Colorado Boulevard

Denver, CO 80222

www.mdscounseling.org

(303) 756-9052

$5 and up

The People House

3035 W. 25th Avenue

Denver, CO 80211

www.peoplehouse.org

(303) 480-5130

$12 and up

University of Colorado Denver (UCD)

North Classroom

1200 Larimer Street

Room #4036

www.ucdenver.edu/life/services/counseling-center

(303) 556-4372

$5 and up

Noeticus Counseling Center and Training Institute

190 E. 9th Ave, Suite 290

Denver, CO 80203

www.noeticus.com

(303) 399-9988 x901

Additionally, many therapists (including myself) offer sliding scale rates or student rates. It may feel uncomfortable to ask, but don't let that stop you from getting the help you need.

6 months later--Office Pictures

Wow has it really been 6 months! Time flies when your getting engaged, buying a house and starting a business!

Here are a couple pictures of me and my office made possible by the talented photographers at Savady Photography.

Three Days Left in Denver

Tomorrow's my launch party for my private practice!  I'm less nervous than I've been the past two days, but now I'm much busier.  More people are showing up than I expected and I'm nervous about a short speech I promised.  Vernon says I'm a performer and thinks I'll be fine, but I'm a little less sure.  I have been falling asleep thinking about all the different things I could say, and not writing any of them down.  Maybe I'll jot some down tonight.  I'm sure it'll help me sleep.

With these last several nights of fantasizing, I've feel like I've already been celebrating, and wonder how it will be when I'm actually surrounded by supportive friends and family.

Monday I have my first private practice client!  Tuesday I finalize my remaining preparation for my practice and pack for my celebratory vacation!  

An old family friend I grew up with called me last night and is taking me to see Rent at the Denver Performing Arts Complex as a graduation present!  OMG!  Best graduation present ever!  Thanks Allen.

Wednesday before the sun rises, I leave for D.C. to see my 98 year old grandfather (my only remaining grandparent) and Aunt Alice with my cousin, Val, and two brothers, Shawn and Travis.  Then I spend one day with Travis is NYC, see his Wu Shu school, and bus up to Boston and Martha's Vineyard where Vernon will meet me and we'll spend time with Sakiko, Boaz and Cassidy (who is one and a half and I will be meeting for the very first time!)  I'm so excited!