Hero Dad

Whenever Vernon is out with Kai, he gets the most adoring looks and comments from strangers:
"I just love dads!" exclaimed one woman to her friend.
"I really respect what you are doing" another woman in her car, pulled over to tell him.
"I enjoy it" he might respond with a smile, internally feeling a little sad that people seem to find it so remarkable.  Oftentimes, he is not doing anything out of the ordinary; talking a walk, running an errand, etc.  But social expectations of fathers seems to be so low that even engaging in ordinary activities with our one year old makes him a Hero to witnessing women.  At least this is the conclusion that he seems to have drawn and the one we joke about (along with the acknowledgement that I never get such praise for caring for Kai).

In light of Father's Day tomorrow, I have been thinking a bit deeper about what may be going on here beyond a problematic societal anecdote of parenthood, sexism, etc. because even at home, there are times that I am in awe of how Vernon engages with Kai, makes him laugh, meets him creatively, and patiently and lovingly supports his growth. Those of you who know us know that he is a Waldorf teacher, and perhaps that speaks to some of his traits, but what are those qualities that gain so much attention when he is out?  I believe that what really makes Vernon a "Hero Dad" is that he is not afraid to deeply engage with his son and love him courageously.  He has always known he wants to be a father and he appreciates it everyday, AND he appreciates me through and through, knowing that I am the one lovingly and patiently spending the days with Kai while he is gone.  Fathers who do not spend time with their children can not possibly appreciate how challenging it can be at times.  Vernon and I have been sleep deprived (to varying degrees) since I was in the last trimester of my pregnancy with Kai, so over a year now.  We have also never been so happy in our lives as we are now.  Neither one of us could fathom the sort of joy we experience on a daily basis now, prior to having Kai.  When Mother's Day came around last month, I told Vernon, "The best thing about Mother's Day is being a mother."  I imagine Vernon feels the same way about Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day Vernon!